Magaret Ekpo(L), Fumilayo Kuti(M), and Chimamanda Adichie(R)
Beatitudes Ubong-Abasi|28 October 2016
Long ago, women at some point in history became conscious of their place in the society and the various oppressive acts against them. This assertion definitely captures the evolution of the phenomena "feminism".
Originating from the western world in 18th century, core issues of feminism revolves around the agitation for social, economic, legal and political rights and equality of sexes in various institutions ranging from religion, education, governance etc. Feminist are of the view that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men. Feminism as a movement and ideology urges in simple terms, the recognition of the "claims" of women for equal rights in legal, political, economic, social and marital status.
Helen Chukwuma in her 1994 publication: "Feminism in African Literature" listed the following as the core issues of feminism:
(a) it is the rejection of inferiority
(b) a reaction against stereotypes of women which deny them a positive idea
(c) it is a striving for recognition
(d) it sets out to enhance the position of women in a predominantly male oriented world.
Seemingly, Filomina Steady far back in 1981 wrote in her book "Black Woman" that feminism is a determination to be resourceful and self reliant. Feminism therefore aims at eradicating gender roles by ensuring that everyone in a society has equal rights and opportunities to become who they choose to be in life without worrying about how he/she will be judged or treated.
Who then is a feminist? Chimamanda Adichie, a foremost Nigerian feminist sees any person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of sexes as a feminist. Thus, feminism as a concept and ideology is not something new to Africans and Nigerians. Feminism is not unafrican. It has always existed in Africa, that so many African women we all love today are and were feminists. The Magaret Ekpo, Fumilayo Kuti, and recently Chimamanda Adichie makes up this list. Feminism has always been an absolute necessity for the Nigerian society, in that we rank lowest in the global gender equality index, with some of the highest number of domestic violence, highest rate of female genital mutilation,and other harmful traditions on women.
Seemingly, the popularity and celebrity status that feminism and feminists have garnered over the years has made the concept a "career" choice for many of our youths, especially our young girls.
Facebook and other social media has afforded the platform for the Nigerian feminist to consistently air out their views. Regrettably, this has led to diverse concepts being dragged carelessly as agitations for equal rights of all sexes. Therefore, this article is a call for reassessment and steps in the right direction. I strongly believe that there is a compulsive need to separate the wheat of feminism from the chaff. With male dominance in politics, education, family, law, medicine, media, religion etc the Nigerian feminist have simply failed in their agitations over the years. Regrettably, the laudable women representation during the last administration has reduced with only seven women appointed out of thirty seven ministers. Recently, the president had told his wife and presumably all women in his government where they belong to and had warned that the wife should stay out of politics. All this have happened and yet no feminist group has cried out against this marginalization and 'joke' not even with a nationwide protests. Maybe and likely to me, we don't have feminist in Nigeria.
It is sad that feminist in Nigeria are chasing shadows, living in mediocrity, projecting and making popular the "chaff" and annoyingly silent on the"wheat" of the travails and suffering of women and the girl child in this country. To an extent, I question their knowledge of the core concepts and values that feminism is all about. This makes it more compulsorily necessary that we separate the wheat from the chaff so as to distinguish the essential and non essential elements the feminists struggle in Nigeria. We ought to teach the girl child that feminism is not lesbianism. This deceit has swept through the consciousness of the so called "feminist" in Nigeria over the years. Lesbianism has never and will never be part of feminism. Engaging in lesbianism to an extent is against the core values of feminism. We also need to make the distinction that a feminist is not a divorcee, she is not a single mother, she is not a tom-boy, she must not be on low cut, she is neither a transgender.
We ought to to let our girls know that feminism is not fighting your mother in law or your in-laws. They need to understand that feminism is not forcing your husband to do house chores, neither is it forcing your husband to cook or it's a divorce. Our girls ought to know that feminism is not trying to match men on alcohol in take or hard drugs. Recent study conducted and published on Vanguard Newspaper has it that women have matched men on alcohol in take in Nigeria. Young girls now smoke Marijuana and swallow hard drugs claiming they are feminist who wants to be equal with men in everything. How on earth does competing in hard and harmful drugs concern the core values of feminism?
Our girls ought to know that when you beg a man who is not your husband for money and other gifts, and he refuses to give, that should urge you to strive for greatness and work towards empowering yourself, for failure to do so will only make you relevant in the kitchen, the living room and the other room,and never in the board room. For going about ranting and criticizing men as being stingy and wanting sex from you doesn't make you a feminist. It simply makes you a depressed and disappointed beggar.
Onuora Onianwa had jokingly posted on Facebook few days ago that..: In is 2016, and ladies who don't even go to church pick sections of the Bible they like and don't have a dime or any source of income still say' a man who can't provide for his family is worst than an infidel. Men should carry out their responsibilities '' who made you his family? With one side of their mouth, some girls will say they can't respect a man who is just a mere boyfriend untill he marries her, and with the other of her mouth, she will still say he has financial responsibilities towards her because she is family. EFCC and ICPC are clearly not doing their jobs properly. As funny as Onuora's post seemed to his Facebook friends, it sadly represents the conceptualization of feminism that holds sway in Nigeria. Reno Omokri buttressed it when he wrote: Dear men, a girlfriend that requires high maintenance should never be promoted to a wife if you want to go far in life.
Our girls ought to know that screen shooting chats they have with male friends on Facebook and other social networks to disgrace them doesn't make them a feminist. Chidinma Okpara narrated on this this way: The fear of the inbox is the beginning of wisdom…guys have no idea what some females do on this platform (Facebook). You intend to be nice to a lady and she ends up screen shooting all your messages to her friends and enemies and you end up being inbox joke. Them go even open inbox chat on top your head.
The Nigerian feminist movements have failed us. It is sad, but the truth must be said. They have failed in the areas they ought to excel, they rather chase shadows and fantasies. It is collectively sad that most outstanding feminist group in Nigeria was formed as a political tool to pull down the government of Goodluck Jonathan with diverse propagandas. It is even more sad that the founders of the Bring Back our Girls (BBOG) were only agitating and making noise for political appointments. The plight of the Chibok girls shouldn't have been severed on the altar of politics.
Again, you may want to agree with me that the collective agitation for the rights of women in our society gas gone beyond demanding those rights from men. It has to come to be women against women. Stalking on comments made by women on Facebook and other social networks on issues concerning women buttresses this notion. Women are mean and wicked to themselves. They judge and criticize more than men. Women lack the smallest atom of pity towards their fellow woman especially in cases of marital issues. No wonder Motherhood in Style magazine keep warning they ban insults and name calling on their website.
Women do not vote female candidates during elections, even in the smallest platform like a market association. Women also cast aspersions on their fellow woman who is going through marital issues. Recently, I witnessed a case where members of FIDA, the collective feminist group of lawyers in Nigeria whom a woman reported a case of abuse and battering to, turned back to ask the man in question out, calling him at night for sit outs and even wanting to marry him in case the wife files for a divorce. What manner of betrayal is worst than this? This has made me to agree with Nsikak Ekikor when he ranted: It is uncritical to advocate equality between men and women, when we cannot boasts of equality among women.
Feminist in Nigeria should be critical and realistic in the struggle for the rights of women, for it is a truism that most of the harmful practices meted out against women are orchestrated and enforced by fellow women. Is it female genital mutilation or the harmful widowhood practices? Yes, men must have made the laws, but it takes the women leaders in the community to execute and enforce them. Most of this practices are done in secret, can't women be supportive and pretend to have done them? Since they know how harmful it is to pass through this ordeals. It is sad that we have feminist in Nigeria, yet an average Nigerian woman does not know about breast cancer. Not to mention the rate of infant mortality and still births. What about poliomyelitis and other vaccines which rural women hardly get access to. It is even more sad that feminist abound in Nigeria yet our girls use rags and pieces of cloths to absorb menstrual flows. Susan Arikpo had said thus and I strongly support: Condoms should be SOLD, sanitary pads should be SHARED. Sex is a choice, menstruation is not. Many girls out there are suffering with one bacteria disease of the vagina or the other due to lack of or inaccessibility to sanitary pads".
We won't say we have feminist when teenage girls are given out as brides to Emirs in northern Nigeria. I question the many beauty pageants and queens who do not know the essence of winning or organizing such programs. To feminist in Nigeria, it is not enough to make just the noise. It is time to act. We shouldn't have social media feminist please….. We need pragmatic feminist who will be bold enough to take a stand and fight against injustice, marginalization and subjugation of women in this country. Won't you rather be one?
Beatitudes UbongAbasi
Written by the Ladies' Man aka King of Queens
