See where C’Riverian serving at Asaba, Delta State discovers happiness. Hmm!


Efio-Ita Nyok|30 April 2017 
A Nigerian National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) member of Cross River indigenisation, serving at the Office of the Secretary to the Government of Delta State, Miss Grace Paulinus Ude (fondly called Gracy by her acquaintances, friends, and close associates) has discovered, according to her, the true source of happiness. 
Miss Gracy was gracious enough to express her perspective about happiness. Follow closely as NegroidHaven takes you through a detour of Miss Gracy's opinion about the source of happiness. 
Gracy's perspective about the source of happiness is quite instructive especially considering the trend of reposing the fountain head of this transient phenomenon on the opposite other or something outside us. However, for Miss Gracy happiness including unhappiness comes from 'the self' not 'the other self' —whatever it may be. Excerpt:
This person makes me happy
When we go into a relationship, when we marry someone, it's because they bring us so much happiness, they bring so much joy into our lives. When we fall in love every other happiness we've ever experienced might pale in comparison. So much so that we settle on this one thought. "This person makes me happy". 
But that's not true… 
But that's not true. YOU made yourself happy, you made the choice to allow yourself to open up to someone incredible. You made the decision to commit to someone whom you fell extremely connected to. You made the choice to hang in there even when the person has hurt you. 
Nobody can make us happy
Nobody can make us happy. We have always been the one who have brought happiness into our own lives. If you're feeling happy because you have great friends, it's because you have chosen to surround yourself with genuine, generous and loving people. If you're feeling happy because you have a great family, it's because you have chosen to be consciously grateful for them. Similarly no one can make us unhappy.
Our reaction to the circumstances that dictate whether we feel happy or not
We have always been the only one who can cause our own suffering and happiness because it is always our reaction to the circumstances that dictate whether we feel happy or not. It's never what happens or who happened, it's how we handle it. It's also not who we have or we don't have in our lives, because we cannot have a healthy relationship until we know that our happiness cannot be given to us by someone else.
Finding the balance 
We don't expect people to lose weight for US so why would we expect people to make us happy? We've got to do it ourselves. It's perfectly normal to feel unhappy, to feel affected by people and things but once we turn our mind to the fact that our happiness is not out there somewhere, but IN us we can easily let go and find our balance again.
Be happy always 
Nobody can make us happy but you can always, always, make yourself happy.
**What an interesting piece about happiness! Albeit, Miss Gracy's ruminations about the source of happiness which she hinge on —the self, as opposed to the —other self, is borne either out of personal experience or a mere intellectual exercise. Whatever, she got the message out. What's your source of happiness? 

Efio-Ita Nyok
Is a Blogger, the Editor & Publisher of