Should getting Married be the Ultimate Goal? —by F. Baba Isa

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This issue keeps coming up and I think both divides miss the point. Let me try to put it briefly here.

If someone doesn’t want to get married, it is stupid and wrong to suggest that such person will never be happy or fulfilled because of that.


It is also stupid and wrong to suggest to someone who thinks their fulfillment and happiness lies in getting married that their aspiration is misplaced.

The problem is not in that aspiration or this aspiration. The problem is with folks who go around thinking they know exactly what people should do to be happy.

If someone says she doesn’t want to get married or that marriage is not the ultimate. Fine. She is right. That’s her. Leave her alone. She should find her tribe and her type and be all she can be. Don’t make her feel guilty. We have many unmarried women doing exploits. They are happy and fulfilled. Be like them if you want to. Don’t let anyone bully you.

But then, after deciding marriage is not the ultimate for you, don’t go around thinking those who aspire to marriage are fools. Don’t bully them too. Don’t talk down at them. Marriage is their ultimate. Leave them alone. We also have many married women doing exploits too.

A female Nobel Prize winner who didn’t get married is great. A woman who choose to be a mother and wife and raise children who became Nobel Prize winners is also great.

We should stop going about feeling like we have the secret codes to greatness and success. That’s the problem.

– By First Baba Isa (FBI)